A model that’s mental

Feb 3, 2019 · 4 min read · 2,359 views

Maybe…

This anxiety isn’t anxiety it’s just your raw excitement that you are misunderstanding.

This creeping imposter syndrome just means you are challenging yourself.

This slight panic before you show your work means you care a lot about quality.

This dreadful feeling during meetings to come up with something smart to say means you are with the best possible people for you.

This anger when things don’t work out or people live up to expectations is just hope and passion being a bit too loud.

This feeling of wanting to scream and run through any wall means… well… i don’t know… maybe get that checked out. ;)

This feeling of being sometimes overwhelmed means you push yourself to move fast.

Maybe you are not too weak or too crazy.

Maybe this is normal. Maybe you are normal.

Maybe everybody has those feelings. Sometimes more, sometimes less.

Maybe you challenge yourself, and that’s good. If you wouldn’t challenge yourself, if you wouldn’t care, you wouldn’t have those feelings.

Maybe try to see your fear, acknowledge it, appreciate it, thank it, and know it’s just your attention being awake.

Maybe try to see your worries, acknowledge them, appreciate them, thank them and know it’s just your love for detail.

Maybe knowing this, you keep going on and you realize you can manage this and all tasks in front of you. And once you get good at them maybe go and challenge yourself with something else.

But maybe… no not maybe… definitely… yes definitely… make sure to look back from time to time and see what you already achieved. All the steps you did, all the fears you faced, all the anxiety you felt and embraced and then learned to love; all of it became the excitement you needed.

Then when you are done with looking back, look forward again, smile and keep trying harder. Keep challenging yourself.

Written for us both to remember.

Why i wrote this post:

This is not meant as medical advice whatsoever - and anxiety is different for many people. I am also not saying “push through no matter what”. I am just trying to share what helped me.

I struggled with anxiety after my first startup crash landed. I had a burnout. It led to me overthinking and being afraid of every decision. I remember vividly being invited to a friend’s dinner where everyone was supposed to bring a salad. I freaked out because i didn’t know what salad to bring. Fruit salads are easy and people like them. Right? RIGHT?? But I couldn’t decide which fruits to use so i bought them all. The bowl ended up being huge. It was so much that we used the leftovers for several bottles of smoothies.

A bit later things got better, but i noticed that i still had anxiety in situations that should have been… well… exciting.

It got a bit into my way. I messed up situations, that i shouldn’t have messed up and blocked potential paths for me that i would have loved to take. I got angry about this, which helped neither, as you can guess.

I tried multiple things. Pushing it down, breathing, meditating, binge-watching, whatever. Nothing helped. If I situation was too much: Light anxiety! Once i realized it: Hello big anxiety!

At some point I tried a different approach: I started to tell myself that anxiety is just misled excitement.

I don’t know why but it felt right.

And more importantly, it let to a rethinking of my situation. Instead of being angry at myself for being anxious i started to be thankful for my body trying to help me. I began to appreciate this feeling, maybe giggled about the weirdness, loved it for making me happy with giggles and moved on with this little unexpected newly found excitement bump.

Nowadays when stressful situations arise, i notice how i have honest excitement. Maybe it’s due to this method, perhaps i just got over the burnout, but no matter which of the two it is, I hope reading this article helps you too.

Because…

Maybe…

This anxiety isn’t anxiety it’s just your raw excitement that you are simply misunderstanding.